Intimacy and Sexual intimacy requires going beyond our safe and familiar ways of being in relationship. To deepen intimacy, we need to express and show new and hidden parts of ourselves to our partner. Therefore, a strong sense of self and a commitment to personal and relationship growth are essential to tolerate the internal upset associated with fear of failure and rejection. ..continue reading

In my experience most of the men I work with and meet socially have been subjected to shame. The shame can reinforce a feeling that the man is not good enough and underpins their decline socially. This shame can act as an unknown master and definer of men’s feelings about themselves in society. ..continue reading

The scapegoat in a family system or the IP the identified patient is often the child who tells the truth about the family dysfunction and acts it out in mostly negative ways, who points out the elephant in the room that the family is not willing to look at. It is this behaviour that makes the scapegoat the target for the family rebuke and usually the parents present this child at therapy as the "problem". ..continue reading

Controlling or helpful
She says she loves you, but you’ve got to get a “better” job. Trying to choose your partner’s friends, activities, or work all suggest that you consider your partner to be inadequate. Even when the controlling partner is simply seeking that magical feeling of unity, seeking it through control damages the respect at the core of love. ..continue reading